“Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchling Adventure” Review

The year was 1999. The Captain released a video game as a surprise inside his special Cap’n Crunch cereal for children all across the Crunch-o-sphere. However, it wasn’t until later that the game’s true purpose was realized. Much like World War II’s Bletchley codebreakers were found using crossword puzzles in British newspapers, Crunch sought gifted Crunchling whisperers using this very game, but I digress. The game itself, is the much more interesting part.

The game starts simply enough, you get to create and customize your very own sidekick to THE Captain Crunch. Your Crunchilng resides in Crunchium City, where a big heist of legendary crunchberries by the mischievous “Crunchium Thief” has just taken place, and Crunch needs your help.

Crunchimization

After, your Crunchling is recruited by Crunch to take part in his special training regiment. This includes feeding your Crunchling delicious Cap’n Crunch cereal, speed training in “Backwardia” (Crunch’s personal skateboard-friendly zone), jumping/acrobatics training in “Computica” (Crunch’s original VR computer world), and strength training by smashing boulders in “Jurrasica” (home of the Crunchosaurus Rex).

the original vr game.png
It seems Horatio Crunch was ahead of his time by inventing a VR world for his Crunchling pals.

After hours of cliche 80s movie montage-esque training, your Crunchling becomes the perfect operative to help Captain Crunch save the world’s crunchberries from the ‘Crunchium Thief.” Your training is put to the test, as you are challenged by the thief to either a test of speed, jumping, or strength. Once you defeat the thief, the crunchberries are safe, and the game is over. As you will undoubtedly be awestruck by the game’s stunning climax and conclusion, and in turn be longing for more crunchtastic action, you can start anew, and make another Crunchling companion.

You can tell this game was handcrafted by Horatio Crunch himself, due to the amount of love and care that went into the level design, animation and sound effects, soundtrack, and of course, plot-line. I would argue this is one of, if not the most important video games of the 20th century. In fact, there is currently a petition on change.org right now to make this game an official U.S. National Treasure. Please visit the link and sign the petition, so that we may one day see our little crunchlings playing this game, just like we did when we were young.

You can’t put a grade on perfection, but as this is a review, I must give it a score. As expected, “Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchling Adventure” earns a perfect 10 crunchberries out of 10. 10/10 is not a score I give lightly, but this game is deserving of such a perfect score.

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