why

i cannot for the life of me discern what exactly it is i am trying to say anymore–i have, time and time again, deleted and rewritten this post. it has been two hours now, and i refuse to allow myself to rebuff this post’s submission any further. i have toyed with the idea of simply allowing the topic to drop, but my colleagues continue to mock me. this injustice i can veritably withstand, but my pride?- my pride cannot. and so, this post, an immediate result of my pride, is my speaking freely on captain crunch. i love captain crunch–i have a draft of a review of crunch’s original flavor in the works, and i am a part of this colloquium– and it seems to have been taking over my life. this i do not mind, for what is man if not that which he loves? most are their better halves; i am my better crunch. and yet, my colleagues, happily wed or whatever else, think me insane. they simply do not seem to be taking this seriously. tatsumi, for example, had the audacity to tell me to “lay off the coolaid,” and when i understandably blew up on him, he said it was at the behest of michael. i thought we were friends, my dear aspiring poet, but it would appear not to be the case. and heretofore, i was so enamored by the man and his views! our discourse was always pleasant and crunchy, and never was there a dull moment between the two of us. but i digress: crunch. captain crunch is a powerfully lit beacon within the darkest abyss my therapist has referred to as “my soul.” dan, my therapist, speaks exclusively in canned metaphors and platitudes, and i have much desired to part ways with him and his abhorrent service. those who i once thought close to me, however, insisted that i stay with him–maybe i will give him a call after this. maybe not. whatever the case, this crunch-to-go mini-bowl i have with me?- it will keep me company. thank you for reading. ah! speaking of the captain, our colloquium has discovered a book within a local library that contains many a tale about our beloved captain. no doubt this will be a boon moving forward! i love captain crunch, as i love you, dearest reader.

steve

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