A Crunch to Arms

Again this fool proves himself unable to conceptualize. Again he so baselessly thinks a personal attack more beneficial to our discourse than a civil conversation. The nerve of this man! To come at me, when it was his sheer irreverence that moved me so! It is of no consequence – I will not be rebuffed, for he has made it quite clear that he is beyond apology; and, humorously enough, an apology is the least of that which I deserve from my colleague. I will not myself ask for forgiveness, for I cannot for the life of me feign a wrong I had wrought to my once-dear companion. As a member of our colloquium, it is only natural that there would be some internal discourse, is it not? And yet, each (constructive) piece of criticism is taken as a personal affront! He finds his character wounded, his intelligence challenged, and finds a convenient bulwark behind his doctorate. The nerve of the man! I am, understandable, quite heated as I write this. Just thinking about Michael’s hubris – “call me Doctor Feinstein!” Poppycock! And the man thinks it funny to title his stinkpiece “Horatiatic Jestings,” sullying the good reputation of the Crunchfacts team! I apologize, my dear reader, for putting our internal disputes on display, but we (or at least, I) pride ourselves on our transparency here at the Captain Crunch Colloquium, and would like for you to know just what is causing this divide. I would rather this pettifoggery end, and that we get back to doing that which we love: speaking on our beloved Captain Crunch; and so, I extend an olive branch. That we may end this dispute amiably, and continue this endeavor as brothers in arms.

Doctor Steve Binder, Esquire.

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